Fog and Zombies

Life has been busy lately. I've got a test tomorrow morning at 8. Yes, you heard me. 8. In the morning. When people are sleeping. I know one day my efforts will pay off, but tomorrow is just not that day.

My test tomorrow is on bones. There is so much to know about bones. I feel so unprepared, but I feel that way about every test we take in there. Last time I did well, but I just have a feeling about this one. I need to push it away and, you know, study. But food and TV.

Speaking of TV, my Netflix wasn't working last night nor today so I had to call them and a guy named Kelley talked to me for like 20 minutes asking questions about things like "cookies" and "error codes". He was really nice and patient with me, though. Thank you Kelley, you're doing great sweetie.

Yesterday Kacie, Abby, Mr. Bailey, and I worked on super secret confidential yearbook material regarding our senior class. Abby drove her new car and parked eleventy billion feet away from our cars. The previous owner of her car put a vinyl sticker on the side window that says "we ate your stick family" with three zombie silhouettes above it. I told her she should leave it on there, for like, you know, funsies.

Sunday through today has been pretty dry. Not for long, though. There is so much rain in the forecast for the next week. And I don't even own a boat. Or a large fish. Because I live 250 miles from the beach (a rough estimate because I am no good a geography). Speaking of the beach, I wish I was there, like with some chill friends and, like, $1,000 to spend. For shopping and go-karts and stuff. And I want to do the sling shot thing, you know, like you used to see on America's Funniest Home Videos of the people screaming in terror and crying. I want to experience that.

Back to the weather; since it has been so humid, the fog has been horrible. It reminds me of that episode of Scooby Doo when he's trying to catch the sailor-ghost man so he and Shaggy camp out in a boat and he slices the fog with a knife and eats it. 

But the sun always rises, even if but for 3 hours, and clears the fog. Because that's how science works, I think. Anyway, here's the same day, 5 hours later. Viewing Mt. Cheaha from highway 431 (I think)

Unrelated: I hope to start creative writing soon on this blog, but time is so tight right now and I have had a pretty blank mind. It's hard to be imaginative when all that occupies my brain currently is the differences between a fossa and a foramen. Ughhhh. Until next time.

Life is strange

  

A Day In The Life + Tropical Storm Cindy

Don't have much to post today because tests and TV and food. And because of the rippling tornadoes tearing through the south east at the moment. But it hasn't been bad. I still had to go get the mail in the rain. In the TORNADO.

See, the reason we even have tornadoes right now is because of Tropical Storm Cindy. And because I live in middle eastern Alabama. So we get the effects too.

Many people I know are down at the beach right now, like, on the beach, like with red flags. And they do not care. Because people in the south are crazy. Literally no one from Connecticut is sitting on the beach right now with a beer. They are in their hotel rooms watching the weather like sensible people. I still wish I was at the beach though. I love swimming in rip currents with a boogie board.

But since I am not, here are some pictures from my rainy day so far:

Flower being sweet

Flower being ugly 

Went to get Dippin' Dots in a storm

The storm I drove in to get Dippin' Dot's

My husband taking a selfie on my phone

Life is strange

Carrie Underwood

 My Sunday School class of teenage girls is truly an experience at times. We laugh, we cry, we chat, we eat, and we sleep. We are all teenage human ninja turtles.

A few months ago we were broken into groups. We were told to go up and collectively draw a public figure whom people look up to. I do not remember why we did this even though why we did this was the entire point of the lesson.

ANYWAY my group had a fantastic idea. An idea so brilliant that I questioned if we should ever allow people to see our art before we have it copyrighted.

So me and two other girlies turned our thinkin brains on. We were going to draw the myth. The legend.

The Carrie Underwood.

"our song is a slammin screen door" hang on. Not her song. try again

"I dug my key" there we go. A hit by "Carrie Underwood".

In case any of you do not know who she is or what she looks like, here is a picture:

Above is the real Carrie Underwood. People look up to her. In that picture people were literally looking up to her. but BACK TO THE STORY

We drew. We drew until we couldn't anymore. Until the last of the chalk had been eliminated.

We knew we were finished.

A hush fell over the class. People were astounded and confused and provoked, just like the way true art should make you feel. "oooohhs" and "ahhhhs" and "xD's" were heard among the crowd. I even saw a tear glisten upon someone's cheek.

Then my team stood back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~BEHOLD~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CARRIE UNDERWOOD:

 THE MYTH, THE LEGEND, THE THUNDER THIGHS IN ALL THEIR GLORY

yee yee


Life is strange

Home Invasion

A few weeks ago was a day and I am not sure what day it was but it was a weekday. I was up all night before the day it happened. I was up watching TV. When I say I was up watching TV I was up watching 5 consecutive episodes of Criminal Minds.

Now, if you have ever watched Criminal Minds, you will notice that there are criminals on there. They do things like:

• Break into people's houses and kill them
• Kidnap people from people's houses
• Hold people hostage in people's houses
• Hide out in people's houses

This is important to the story because I had dreamed of such criminals within the 3.5 hours I was asleep that night.

During the summer on weekdays I wake up at 5:30 because school. My class starts at 8 but it's 40 minutes away and dad has to be at work at 7 and because I do not like to lock the gate so we leave at 6:20. That makes no sense. But this is also important to the story. 

Now, my dad is always on time. It is like clockwork. I am certain he is actually made of ticking clocks. So when he still had not emerged from his bedroom at 6:40, I was raised with concern. So I began banging on the door only to get no response. The door was locked. And it was too quiet. And time kept ticking by. 

So I did a really practical thing, called my house phone from my cell phone. Here is how the conversation went:

Me: H-hello? Dad? Are you ready to go? We are late.

Dad: Go where?

and then I hung up. Because it was not dad on the other end. IT WAS AN OLD WOMAN'S VOICE. At that moment I was sure that someone had broken into our house and killed him and was waiting on me to show myself. So I did the most practical things, like:

• Run to my car 
• Call the police
• Cry
• Call mom
• Call maw maw

So now not only do I have the police on the phone, my mother does too. And my maw maw is now in my driveway. And I am standing there in my moose pajama pants with no shoes on. 

Sooner or later mom gets in touch with dad, whom was in the shower the entire time, and comes outside with half a toothbrush hanging out his mouth, and me standing there in my moose pajamas and says 

"Macie. Today is Saturday."

Life is strange.

PS- the number I called was not my house phone and I ended up calling a woman in Mobile. Sorry I woke you up woman in Mobile.

Satan's Pollen

Please enjoy this current event I wrote in my 10th grade history class. Ignore the grammatical mistakes. "Nobody's perfect" -Hannah Montana 

 

PS- the blue shirt part was for my teacher because I was testing to see if he read our papers and he did not because he did not wear a blue shirt that next Monday and gave me an A+.

Life is strange

10 Things You Should Do Before You Graduate

Kacie posing with her s'mores. 6.8.17

In the fall I will be entering my senior year of high school and over the past few years I have learned that I have never hated and loved a single place before ever in my life. They say that love and hate are such strong feelings that sometimes the brain confuses them, er, I think that's what they say. Who is they. I don't know. But that's how my high school experience has been going so far: a love-hate relationship. Mostly hate, but you get the idea.

The times which put the "love" in the love-hate relationship I have with high school are memorable and something truly valuable and yeah. Ok here's some things you and your friend and that guy you sit by in algebra who wears the Nirvana shirt should do. 

#1 Cartwheel down the hallway. Just once. "Just do it" -Nike

#2 Loan someone a dollar. This way, when you need a dollar, they are required to give you a dollar because of the IOU.

#3 Sit at a table with people you don't know. This leads the the most interesting conversations, including "that's not your seat" and "who are you".

#4 Make t-shirts and spell out something. I suggest the words "cRunK" and "LIT" and "xD"

#5 Join a club. I was in a ton of clubs. Also, run for an office so you can embarrass yourself in front of the school like I did a gazillion trillion times. It makes for good memories in the long run. 

#6 Wake up early to get breakfast before school. Or wake up late and get it anyway and just be tardy. Everyone has done it at least once.

#7 Play cards in class. Bring your deck and play in study hall, it's not lame. You will end up with 15 people wanting to be your friend afterwards. Or enemy. It's according to if you play your cards right. Hahahah. Get it. 

#8 Have a big sleepover. Invite all your friends!!! Order pizza and sweet and sour chicken and make brownies and watch The Lizzie McGuire Movie and play Just Dance and video your friend and make fun of her.

#9 Go to Waffle House after football games. Every school has that place. That one restaurant everyone you see for 8 hours a day goes to after a football game. Go with them, even if they beg you not to. Hop in someone's car. 

#10 Wear the band shirt to school. You know you want to. I did it. You might find more fellow fans. Or you might get beat up. Depends.

After I post this when I got to bed I will wake up suddenly at 4 AM enlightened with ideas in which would be absolutely swag and lit and cRunK and xD but by that time this post will be archived and I will not change it so there may be a volume two one day. Also: I have done everything to the greatest extent listed. It's important to embarrass yourself in high school. It builds character and teaches you how to deal with situations and people. Like that guy in 10th grade who stole your pickles off your tray in the lunch line NOT TO MENTION ANY NAMES.

Life is strange

"What Does The Fox Say" Texts

Late last night I received a series of hilarious texts from a fellow colleague. I do not think I have ever been more entertained over a series of texts than I was last night while I was eating nachos.

Colleague: You told me a long time ago you liked that heavy music. I was going through my playlist. It is really old music. I am just wondering if you like Metallica?

Me: I do not like heavy music. I like punk.

Colleague: What's the difference?

Me: Check out this playlist.

Colleague: I am good. I am not a fan of punk music. It scares me. I was just wondering if you liked Metallica.

Me: Why does it scare you?

Colleague: It is just a bunch of screaming.

Me: It's not screaming. It's punk, not metal.

Colleague: It is with those people dressed in all black with the spiked hair singing, right?

Me: No.

Colleague: Oh, is it more like pop or rock?

Me: Yes, it can be punk rock or pop punk. It just depends.

Colleague: Oh, well I guess I am thinking of heavy rock. Isn't that fox song supposed to be punk? "What Does The Fox Say"? I think that is what it is called.

Me: No, "What Does The Fox Say" is not of the punk genre.

Colleague: Well, I am now confused.




Life is strange

Paula Dean 20%

Today I woke up at 8 because I was going to wash my hair and get my life started but then the air was off and my bed was so soft so I retreated back into my sweaty slumber. It was 84 degrees inside my house. My anatomy and physiology teacher says that hyperthermia is when you get reeeealllllllyyyyy hot and I said wow. I didn't really say that but I did inside my head and this girl that sits beside me in class looked at me weird, so I assume she has the ability to read thoughts.

So at 10 I woke up and took a shower because my hair was super oily because I put coconut oil in it because I'm on accutane and my skin has ceased to produce oils.

The library is a weird place. I went there today for a gazillion years. But I would normally not ever go there unless I needed a book but today was an exception because my house was 84 degrees and I could not breathe properly. So I made my journey in to study.

It was frightening. I was completely out of my element yet at the same time in my element. The only reason I felt like a fish out of water was because two months ago I went in and asked the ladies at the front desk if they were looking for any help. They told me "we are not currently seeking any part-time employees :/" but I knew the face they made was fake because they looked like the Sanderson Sisters. All three of them. If this would have taken place in 2013 I would probably be in therapy.

I found a place to sit and this woman was sitting 15 feet away in a tacky chair with a magazine I couldn't make out. Pretty sure it was Country Living because we live in Alabama and she had that country disposition about her like Paula Dean but only like 20% Paula Dean. Is that how you spell her name. But Paula Dean 20% left 5 minutes after I sat down because she thought, "ugh, the youth". I know she thought this because her face.

Then I took out my books and I studied until 4:30 until I got a call promptly after I'd just picked up Cannery Row. I answered and out proclaimed so loudly in which the winged seraphs of heaven could hear, "WHERE ARE YOU??" and soon after I learned that a severe thunderstorm was upon me, an enemy in the most natural form, second to anthrax. Wait, is anthrax natural or man-made. I wasn't that worried though because I survived the April 27 tornadoes of 2011. Did you all know that tornadoes form from severe thunder storms. True story. My 103 year old great aunt Omie survived and her house was blown away and so was she. Someone wrote a book and she's in it.

I'm about to finish Gilmore girls. Dad says between my socks and sandals and my obsession with Gg I have "unfortunate taste". I think he has no room to talk because he thinks My Name Is Earl is one of the most revolutionary series ever made. I cannot disagree.

Shows I recommend NOT IN ORDER!!!!!!!:

• Gilmore girls
• The Golden Girls
• The Fosters
• American Horror Story (seasons 1-4 that's it)
• The Nanny
• Untold Stories of the ER
• I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant
• Teen Titans 
• Saturday Night Live
• Criminal Minds 
• The Office 

Movies I recommend that are NOT IN ORDER!!!!!!!!!:

• Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000)
• Warm Bodies (2013)
• Harry Potter (2001-2011)
• Perks Of Being A Wallflower (2012)
• National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)

Stay tuned for songs and books I recommend later on. In the 30 or so minutes I've been typing this the storm passed and now I just sit. Haha get it.

Life is strange